C0rk.W0rd

I Take Good Mobile Pictures ... :)

C0rk's M0bl0g made it as an editors pick on TextAmerica. Head on over to the TextAmerica Homepage (http://www.textamerica.com). The image of the Eagles fan under editor’s picks (bottom left) is mine. I also got a publication @ http://hats.textamerica.com

Check me out…

Click Here For TextAmerica HomePage
Click Here For HATS Publication

... I don't know how long it will all stay on there... so check it out NOW before i disappear...

135 Questions On Sex...

Well... I just filled out a 135 Question Questionnaire relating to my sex life, mostly because I was bored, and partially because I'm too stupid not to. It's pretty revealing, and something tells me it’s not a real good idea to be posting such things to the internet. I am therefore not making it available online to just anyone. If you IM me I will gladly send you a copy of my complete survey, if I consider you worthy of its contents. At least then we're on the same page. (How so?) I'm sending you a document listing my various sexual eccentricities and exploits blended with the right amount of humor to keep it playful, and you're admitting that you're interested (you PERVERT!!!). I don't expect a great deal of response... but I figured I would toss it out there...

… Those of you who care or are interested KNOW how to reach me …

TOO MUCH SHIT!!!

It’s Saturday morning, and I have WWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much shit in my room. Every weekend, or at least every-other weekend, I straighten this room, and make a somewhat halfhearted pledge to keep it that way. Of course it is always a complete disaster area by Tuesday at the latest. Coming back to my initial statement, I don’t feel the issue is my habits (since I genuinely like cleanliness and order), but the fact that I am being out gunned by the staggering amount of SHIT that piles up in my room over the course of the year.

Just last year I carried 13 filled trash bags out of my room. I had decided to do some cleaning, and was in the mood to discard anything I didn’t think I would need. The result was 13 jumbo trash bags, overflowing with years of useless junk. Making a concerted effort to actively discard things that are past their time has done little to solve the problem.

My mom has always held on to things saying, “you never know when you might need it”… and although I think she is quite MAD in this regard, I can’t help but wonder whether I inherited some of those genes. Order and cleanliness have always been my father bag, when it comes to messy rooms, or things lying about the house just a little too long, its my father delving out the “I have to look at this room every day”-s and the “You’re bag has been sitting there for over a WEEK!!”-s. He’s lightened up significantly since I decided to live at home for the remainder of college. Maybe my “you don’t have to look at my room all week because my door is always shut” argument began to hold water.

The two halves of my parents are in constant battle, my mom’s knack for creating disorder, and my dad’s obsessive compulsive demand for cleanliness. But what does this all boil down to?... I’m sorry I completely strayed from the point… I’m going to overhaul my room this morning/afternoon. Get things in order and try to get rid of the aforementioned SHIT piling up. Here are a few preliminary photos of the mess. Do stop back for some post cleaning shots…

Leave A Comment ... Filling In The Blanks

I _____ c0rk.
c0rk is ___.
c0rk needs ___.
I want to ___ c0rk.
c0rk can ___ my ___.
Someday c0rk will ___.
c0rk reminds me of ___.
Without c0rk, ____.
c0rk can be ____.
Best thing about c0rk is ____.
c0rk is my _______.

Sorry to throw this all at you, but Maria posted it in HER blog and it proved pretty entertaining ... thought i would give it a try here, and see what kinduv comments it elicited. That, or I may just be feeling an overwhelmning need to let all of you torture me...BRING IT!... let the games begin!

“Freedom Feels Good” (Thought I had while having my balls fondled by security)

Chaz needed pictures for his photography class. Since the Eagles weren't playing we decided to go to Independence Hall on Sunday. I don't think I've been there since 5th or 6th grade, and the only thing i remember about THAT trip (class trip) was Jonathan Balsham having 5 packs of cotton candy flavored bubble gum. Every member of our group chewed at least 7 pieces. It wasn't long before our mouths were blue and our tummy's aching. Anyway... (Check Out The Pics In the M0Bl0g...)

They built this big 'ol 'Independence' Museum thing that runs 2 city blocks. To visit Independence Hall one must first acquire a ticket from the park ranger in the museum 2 blocks from the actual Hall. Tickets in hand, you'll then be permitted to enter the Hall grounds through a security checkpoint. All other entrances are blocked by metal fencing, and are actively patrolled by park rangers. Now, park rangers do not intimidate me, but I think the security, besides being completely ineffective, really serves to show how our liberties and freedoms are all being stripped from us. Now, I've never been a big AMERICA YAY person, but I'm also not one to let absudities go by unnoticed. Watching a woman in a wheelchair be hoisted up so that she can be properly frisked before entering the grounds of a monument that exonerates freedom and liberty is, I'm sorry, LAUGH OUT LOUD ABSURD!!!

If the goal of terrorism is to strike FEAR into ones enemy, then never has there been a more effective and victorious act of terrorism than the events of September 11th. If you think that statement is insensitive, then you missed my point COMPLETLEY.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go heat up some Freedom-Bread Pizza.

(You'll probably hear more on this in the future, if John Ashcroft doesn't show up and ship me off to Guantanamo)

Running, Jumping, Climbing Trees... Putting on Make-Up While You're Up There

Went to see Eddie Izzard's 'SEXIE' last night with Raja, and I must say it was FANTABULOUS. Of all the comedians I have seen, he would seem to me to be the most 'off-the-cuff'. For all I know his presentation could be tightly scripted and practiced, but watching him, you would never know it. Though at one point a large dust ball fell through his stoplight. He stopped, pointed, and said something along the lines of "FALL, YOU DUST!!!"

Eddie attacked us with his characteristic arsenal of historical humor and quick wit, all in drag. The show began with the typical smoke, lights, and dramatics -- and a bloke in make-up. He had fantastic make-up and emerged from behind the curtain in a big old colonial-like jacket (w/ tails), a red corset, black mini-skirt, fishnets, and big leather boots with I'm guessing 3 inch heals. We were treated to a bit more skin in the second act -- a black corset, (no jacket), and a sparkly skirt with a dangerously high slit.

I was lucky enough to get 2nd row seats in the pit, but my pictures still came out like crap. It's hard to photograph someone who is being spotlighted because they tend to be washed out. Though you might want to take a look at the pictures in my mobile phone photo album. To sum up I had a great time, and snagged a sweet 'SEXIE' poster for $5. Now I'm going to go drain my bank account buying Eddie Izzard DVD's from Amazon... I think you should TOO!

Me, Sick? HA --- NEVER!!!!

In contrast to the weekend, this Monday morning has been a little rough. I woke up a little late, despite going to bed at what I consider an early hour (11:45 approx), and I'm just feeling kinduv 'down-in-the-dumps'. Erin (my coworker) says I'm prolly getting ill, since there is apparently 'something' going around the office. I've never been a sickly fellow; I generally just DENY the fact that I probably AM sick... and go on working/living. Unless its something REALLY bad... in which case I beg people to KILL me... b/c THAT is the amount of pain I need to be in to admit to being sick.

In anticipation of some rough times, I'm going to have to stock up on the 'Universal Cure-ALL' ... I speak of course...of NyQuil - The Night-time sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever, so you can pass out drunk medicine.

In typical c0rk fashion, I am attempting to convince myself that it is all in my head. I'm simply coming down off my weekend high, or just morose because next weekend seems so far away. My 'will' power is stronger than any puny excuse for disease or infection. GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

I'm ALL Smiles

Since I've never been one to involve the general public with my personal affairs, I will keep my explanation of the weekend 'short and sweet' (laughs at the irony of the word choice). I spent two extraordinary nights out with Maria, who, for lack of better wording, made my weekend. THAT'S about all you're getting out of me concerning that.

I went to the Eagles game on Sunday. They defeated the New York Jets 24-17. Perhaps more importantly, this was the first game in which the offense actually looked semi-efficient. Commentators are saying that McNabb is out of his rut. I'm not willing to go that far just yet; When you're playing as bad as he was, is there anywhere to go but up?

GOOD WEEKEND!!!

Everybody's Working For The WEEKEND!!!

I'm not certain of the reason, but this week seemed to FLY by. It really shouldn't have considering my excitement over the weekend to come. It's that whole thing where the week moves slowly because you spend 90% of it waiting for the weekend. TGIF... No... Holy fucking shit, it's Friday already?

Anyway, I've been working hard. There was no shortage of work to be had at ISSI. Track-It! is being rolled out to more people every day, and adding functionality throughout is proving challenging. Though I enjoy the challenge a great deal. The pains and rewards of scripting are seemingly equal. I am capable of taking a human life while debugging code that refuses to run; yet I am as happy as a pig in shit when it works. I absolutely LOVE my co-op job this time around. Working for a small company really allows one to observe the fruits of their labor.

The Weekend In Review... Affliction = Addiction

I had an absolutely wonderful weekend. It started off with an easy rush from the office Friday afternoon. Traffic was astoundingly light, and I was able to make it home in about 20min, which is odd considering it was Friday @ 5pm. A quick shower and shave, and I was off to the Comedy Central Presents Dave Attel and Lewis Black. Tarrah and Maria accompanied me to the show. I had never met Maria before, but we had been talking at length over the last few months. After enjoying the show, we had a chance to talk over some coffee/cider at Intermezzo (her choice), and I must say that she is just as scrumtrilescent in person as I was able to conclude from our lengthy internet-based conversations. We chugged down our beverages and talked while trying to ignore the mind-numbingly LOUD techno music being pumped through Intermezzo's sound system. Taking the hint to kick-out when, what appeared to be Intermezzo's 1 broken-English speaking employee began taking out the trash; I drove Maria home.

Saturday was a pretty lazy day for me. I slept late (since I didn't get home from Philly till about 3am), and didn't do anything that could be classified as productive. Maria invited me out with her and her friend Michael. I graciously, and perhaps a bit to eagerly, accepted. We went to South Street, and I was given a crash course in W. Philly living. I was never aware of the whole 'Irish Block', 'Italian Block', 'Jewish Block' thing... VERY interesting. Michael and Maria both went to catholic high schools so that gave rise to a NUMBER of questions. I was surprised to find out about all the devious stuff that Catholic School students are into. Not Michael, or Maria specifically... but just in general. Quite a departure from the boring HS environment that WAS Eastern. Anyway, after S. Street, we rented The Big Lebowski and went back to Maria's house to watch. Because of the extremely selective humor, I had my misgivings about jumping into such a title, but both insisted that they enjoyed it. Following the movie, the three of us had a good chuckle about my Darwin Fish, and I gave Maria the 1st two Preacher 'Graphic Novels' before I departed. This was followed by an Internet conversation that lasted well into the wee hours of the morning.

Sorry about the abrupt ending, but it just occurred to me that I should probably look into a 12 step program... or not - ;-)