C0rk.W0rd

The Triumph Brewing Company

(I apologize in advance for the contents of this post, I've been really stressed out lately, and this may be a byproduct of said stress)

Chaz, Gina, and I went to the Triumph Brewing Co. last night to see BD Mylo & The Go Daddys (some poor quality pictures available in m0b). It was in Princeton, NJ... and yes, we had to drive through campus to get there. The place was very "posh", not your typical brew pub, and certainly nothing like the LongTrail. It sort of felt like a COSI on acid. The food looked good, but we didn't eat there, and they had a nice selection of single malt scotch in addition to the beer. I tried a sampler, but wasn't too impressed with the beer. It left a funny aftertaste in my mouth. Though the Jewish Rye Beer was VERY interesting... it tasted like caraway (spelling) seeds.

Anyway, it was really expensive (7.50 for a Bushmills and 8.00 for a Baileys -- New York Prices... but hey... It's Princeton, my jaw got a little stiff just being there), but also very nice. We sat on the 2nd level looking down on the band, pretty cool. The pics aren't that good, so I guess you'll just have to go and check it out yourself.

You ever get the feeling that when you're around brainiacs (like those going to Princeton) or at least "people that come from money" that they can sort of tell you're 2nd class just by looking at you? It's not that I feel inferior... but I guess it sort of relates to the UPENN thing. UPENN people are really nice to Drexel folk, the girls especially --- probably because you're not like many of the pretty/rich/privileged douches patrolling that campus --- but then when you tell them you go to Drexel, they react like they've been rudely hoodwinked.... very odd indeed. I believe the expression is "smelly Drexel"... anyway... where was I going with this...

Oh yea --- Triumph... pretty neat, BD Mylo & The Go Daddys, superb per usual. The night in general --- excellent, felt like I actually DID something other than sit around V-Town.

I seem to be rambling uncontrollably here... but this is the last thing I promise. While I was hating everyone cuz I assumed they were judging me, I was doing some judging of my own. (what do you know... a double standard... im not going to try to defend myself on this one... we're all guilty of it sometime or another, and at least I don't claim to be above it) There was this guy wearing a suit, but with a vintage "style" t-shirt, which was probably purchased at Abercrombie and Fitch.... ok .. and he had black hair down to his mid back, and on his head he was sporting a blue bandana/do-rag -- but like one of those "long" ones (think Steven Van Zandt).. and to top it all off, he was complimenting this whole ensemble with red/tan bowling shoes. If you're going to walk around trying to look like Steve Van Zandt, you better fucking BE Steven Van Zandt... not some theatrical trouser stain from an Ivy League School. And I'm pretty sure if Steve Van Zandt found out he had a look-alike roaming around Princeton University of all places, he'd be breaking his Asbury Park FOOT (yes, I just used Asbury Park as and adjective) off in your ass --- wait he's a Buddhist... so maybe not... but that doesn't make you any less of a tool. It look a lot of energy, on my part, not to yell something along the lines of "god damn, you're so fucking "different"... I just HAVE to get to know you, because surely, with a get up like that, you're personality must be so vibrant and unique, that you don't need to resort to cheap visual ploys to attract attention." --- I really don't hate everyone... ok maybe that is the understatement of the year (insert laugh)... I'm just a natural social critic who is probably compensating for his own lack of confidence by passive-aggressively ridiculing people through his blog... ok, it's official... I've lost my fucking mind (this may qualify as stream of consciousness)

The 10 Minute (10-Minute) Rule

I was sitting in ISYS355 waiting to see if the teacher showed up --- Several of my classmates and I began discussing the infamous 10-minute rule. There was disagreement over whether it was in fact a 10-minute rule or 15-minute rule. I had always heard 10-minute. Regardless, our teacher showed up, and the portion of us who didn’t split after 10 were forced to endure another night of lecture. I’m a little too guilt stricken to walk out on a class when I still think there is a chance of the professor showing up. With little else to do, I decided to investigate the 10-minute rule phenomenon. To my surprise, there was nothing available online documenting this seemingly universal rule… I hereby take the initiative:

The 10 Minute (10-Minute) Rule – According to C0rk
If the instructor/professor/teacher for a given class has not arrived at the class location/room/venue within 10 minutes of the scheduled class start-time, all students are thereby waived from their obligation to remain in the classroom. Furthermore, students who choose to depart are not to be penalized academically or otherwise. As proof of presence, departing students can add their signature to a sheet to be left behind, should the professor arrive at a later time.

I suppose I have done some kind of public service in this, so I’m going to go pat myself on the back for my insight into the staggering complexity of human behavior.

A Few More For Ya!

Buy cheap sunglasses
expensive ones always break
or get lost some how

Weird orange cheese stuff
the film on top is wretched
must protect the fries

Is Figi water
better than other water?
the bottle says so

Let It Begin

C0rk, purveyor of political Haiku...

Boots on the ground now
one weekend a month my ass
an army of one.

Kill opposition
to understand them is moot
and the heads will roll.

Force feed them freedom
because we always know best
it's for their own good.

...stay tuned for more

C0rk & The Triangle

I have taken a few of my more “newsworthy” blog posts, and revised them for submission to Drexel’s student run newspaper, The Triangle. The Triangle has always been a good source of news, information, and comedic brilliance, and I’ve always wished to become more involved with it. Unfortunately, during my freshman year, when I actually went to a Triangle meeting, I was given the brush off, which may have been a communications failure, but nevertheless made me a little timid about continuing my efforts.

A few weeks back I whipped up the courage to e-mail one of my articles to the Triangle, and found it published without hesitation. I also received a kind e-mail from the Ed-Op editor who thanked me for my article and provided me with additional information about Triangle standards and practices that would assist me with future submissions. In the weeks since I’ve produced 3 works for the paper (two that have been published, and one that was submitted today), and I plan to submit many more, so long as they are pleased with my work, and I don’t run out of material. I don’t know if you’d call my e-submissions direct involvement, but until I have the time to attend a meeting, I guess they will have to do.

Here are links to my existing articles on the Triangle website. Copies of the Triangle are available in print (free of charge) in bins located throughout Drexel’s campus.

Ed-Op: Ban on photos of coffins politically motivated
Sci-Tech: Apple outpaces competition in media distribution

I'll keep you posted (no pun intended) of additional publications, when and should they occur. You, my loyal blog readers, will have advanced access to rough drafts.

C0rk The Political Poet

I thought I would give you all an advanced warning of a new feature I am going to be bringing to c0rk.blogs.com... But first, let us touch on a little back story so that you all know where I am coming from with this…

I am currently finishing up my work in a class entitled ‘Visions in Writing’ --- the corny name aside, the activities and assignments for the class are actually very enjoyable. One of the major portions of our term work is the writing of 250 haiku. That’s right 250. Our professor, Dr. Riggs, a man to whom I grant infinite respect, has for many years, in an effort to prevent writers block, written 3 haiku a day. Over time he became a little more ambitious, and now writes a sonnet each morning. In an effort to keep all the students in his class writing, we’re required to submit 250 haiku at the end of the term.

The emphasis in this case is placed on quantity versus quality, and I’ve been developing my own brand of lack luster haiku over the last several weeks. I’ve come to embrace this exercise and figure that I can become a little more comfortable with sharing my work by publishing a few haiku each day, HERE on c0rk.blogs.com --- So basically, you can expect some poetry in here real soon. Some will be posts onto themselves, and others will be left as an afterthought at the tail end of other posts.

In case you’re not familiar with the haiku form, here is a brief explanation…

Haiku is a form of Japanese poetry. The challenge is to be able to express vivid ideas in a very limited amount of characters --- Writing haiku in Japanese demands that your entire poem include only 17 Japanese characters. This is commonly regarded as 17 syllables in English. In the common English Haiku form (which I will be using) the syllables occur in a definite pattern of 5-7-5.

Line1 --- 5 Syllables
Line2 --- 7 Syllables
Line3 --- 5 Syllables

Typically, haiku stick to the topic of nature, but you’ll all notice my departure from this standard.

Please keep in mind that the haiku I produce are not designed to be brilliant poetic works, but simple exercises in form and general writing practice. Though your criticism is always welcome, I encourage you to regard these as what they are --- a chance for you to laugh, think, or otherwise be entertained. Enjoy~!

We eat ham and jam and spam a lot!

Over the years I have done a pretty good job managing the amount of SPAM that irrupts into my InBox each day. To be honest there are only about 3-4 people (or entities) that SPAM me with any regularity, and with filters in place, they’re pretty much non-issues. However, I have in recent weeks been receiving what I would describe as comment SPAM in my blog. They tend to be in the form of links that point to various pornographic Internet locales. I’ve been doing my best to police these too, and now that TypePad has developed comment spamming procedures I have even less to worry about…

The bulk of my amusement however stems from a legitimate commenter who appears to have mistaken my blog for a message board / discussion forum / chat room. Rather than trying to combat this confused individual, I’ve allowed them to run amok in my most highly commented/viewed post to date. Recently other visitors have become disenchanted with the nature of this persons remarks, and elected to discontinue their activity on c0rk.blogs.com --- an unfortunate side effect to be sure, but something that only leads our cocksure little commenter (sharday - who apparently works for the department of labor, and is dumb enough to leave their work e-mail on the site) to talk with him or herself, which just puts me in hysterics. --- enriching lives.

Read The Comments Here

Requirements for Conception (works of the absurd)

Well, this story (lifted from here) is an urban legend. What makes urban legends so fascinating is that, though strange, they do not fall outside the realm of possibility or plausibility.

Maybe they should just tell them that sex is a sinful but necessary evil of man and to under no circumstances derive pleasure from such a heinously unholy act --- oh wait, they already do that. A material pleasure, that is trivial when compared to the glory of your one true god. Funny, that a great deal of people, who claim to see God, see him or her mid-coitus. Do I really need to mention with what regularity the lord's name is invoked during the act? Or maybe that sex was and is a major preoccupation of many modern and historical figures held in very high esteem by both the religious and the truly moral (though in theory not possible, take notice of the separation)? Oh, and by the way you can thank the human sexual condition for various aesthetic works, from poetry to sculpture. --- Ok, enough from me…

Childless couple told to try sex
A German couple who went to a fertility clinic after eight years of marriage have found out why they are still childless - they weren't having sex.

The University Clinic of Lubek said they had never heard of a case like it after examining the couple who went to see them last month for fertility tests.

Doctors subjected them to a series of examinations and found they were both apparently fertile, and should have had no trouble conceiving.

A clinic spokesman said: "When we asked them how often they had had sex, they looked blank, and said: "What do you mean?".

"We are not talking retarded people here, but a couple who were brought up in a religious environment who were simply unaware, after eight years of marriage, of the physical requirements necessary to procreate."

The 30-year-old wife and her 36-year-old husband are now being given sex therapy lessons while the university clinic undertakes a study to try to find out if there are more couples with a similar lack of sex education.

Conservatives abound – censure me with your (right) more than likely narrow-minded ridicule, formed around baseless assumptions about me, and an activity which you have little working knowledge of, and even less appreciation for. (sorry about ending a sentence with a preposition --- another one of those "necessary evils") Impugn the heathen for his remarks are nothing more than devilish tarradiddles aimed at paving the road for your trip into eternal hellfire.

NJ Approves Stem Cell Reasearch

Just when you thought you were living in the armpit of America along came another reason to be proud of being from the Garden State. Earlier this month Governor McGreevy signed an agreement to create the first publicly funded stem cell research center in America. There is a national policy against the use of government dollars to fund such research thanks to the Bush’s conservative agenda. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the particulars of stem cell research allow me to give you a brief explanation of my BASIC understanding (please feel free to correct me for I am no biologist)…

Each cell in the human body is designed to serve a specific function. However, before cells are configured for their role they form as stem cells. These are cells that are ready to receive genetic information so that they can be transformed to perform said specific role. Stem cells can be used to manufacture human cells in a manner that is controlled by science rather than by nature, allowing us to perform complex experiments that could possibly lead to cures for many horrible diseases/disorders/conditions.

As I understand it, this is how it works out. Most detrimental conditions in the human body are the result of corrupt, diseased, or malfunctioning clusters of cells. Imagine if you will, the potential of a technology that would allow us to grow new healthy cells to fix these disorders. Many believe that stem cell research holds the promise of a cure for life threatening cancers that claim thousands of lives each year.

So why wouldn’t people want to do this research? Are we running low on biology students?... No, the problem most conservatives [in power and at large] have with stem cell research is that the stem cells are typically acquired from extremely young human embryos that are destroyed and/or discarded in the process. In case you’re still lost, let me clear it up for you. Human embryos are essentially microscopic human fetuses. The argument is that allowing stem cell research condones abortion practices. Once acquired however, stem cells can be cloned to reduce the need of fresh embryos, but naturally cloning raised additional ethical concerns.

The details of the research itself aside, I’m proud that our state has decided to allow this research to take place. Many brilliant scientists have been setting up shop in foreign lands that allow this research, leaving the United States behind in this most important field of study. Luckily, New Jersey has broken from national policy, and decided to establish the countries first stem cell research center to be run by Rutgers University. Whatever ethical concerns conservatives may have are moot when compared to the potential to cure things like diabetes, Alzheimer's, and Parkinson's while allowing people like Adam Taliaferro to FULLY recover from their injuries.

Yea, I know -- not my most coherent post to date... I promise to try harder next time.

No End In Sight

I don’t think I have been this overworked in a long time. Maintaining a 20+ hour work week, while trying to take 19 credits has proved quite challenging. I wake up each morning feeling like I’ve been hit with a freight truck. Arriving home this afternoon, I had a little to eat and then went out to cut the lawn. After finishing the lawn, I didn’t even make it to the shower before collapsing for a 4 hours nap. I cannot remember the last time I napped. Truth be known, there were defiantly more productive things I could have done with my time.

The heat is testing my will to live. Frankly, I’m at a loss as to how anyone can endure this crap, let alone seek it. Chaz is leaving for Arizona soon, and he can’t wait for the 108 degree days. Surely these people must be sick. But you know what, there is just nothing like breaking a sweat while walking down your driveway to your car in the morning. Or how about having your shirt fused to your back, compliments of your leather car interior, before arriving at the office. Yea, where would I be without those simple pleasures.

Warm weather and sun is overrated, and you don’t need to attend too many proms to figure out that we really don’t need the sun to turn ourselves into majestic bronze statuettes. Does anyone actually think that looks good? Does it say something about me that the most UV I willingly expose myself to is that which radiates from my computer monitor, and that I consider the rest a necessary evil?

Anyway, I’m not really sure where I was going with this post. I just thought I should let everyone know how busy I am, in case you were wondering about the infrequent updates. Sorry, I’m not dead yet. I’ll try to be more diligent when it comes to supplying fresh entries. I recommend, in the meantime, that you begin checking my m0b for updates.

I'm with this guy (click for larger view)